I’m Selfish with my Self-Care! (Don’t You Try To Mess With It)
Pain. We have all felt it at some point in our lives and many of us are feeling the effects of pain right now. Whether it is past pain (that one bully in middle school), current pain (dealing with a lost loved one) or future pain (how am I going to pay those bills), Pain is usually one of the most un-fun parts of life, and yet no one escapes it. So if we can’t escape heartbreak, loss, or grief, can we at least form healthy ways to cope? Why YES! Yes we can.
Self Care is my new arsenal against the inevitability of unwanted events and emotions and I am getting oh so selfish with the time that I take to process pain inducing thoughts, feelings & experiences. Whether you are feeling the affects of criticism or harsh words, love or lack there of, Self Care can empower you to take ownership of your feelings and get your mojo back.
Okay sooo what the heck does self care mean?
Self- Care is setting time aside for yourself by yourself and doing what it takes to help you feel and heal. And while self-care will look completely different for all of us, I want to share some of the processes that I go through when caring for myself.
- The Initial Emotional Outburst or Event
- I do my best to ask myself what is going on and how am I feeling about it?
- The Interrogation Process
- During this time I ask all of the deeper questions such as what does this occurrence make me feel about myself, my life or my future?
- The Let Out
- I let myself do what I must! Whether I need to cry, scream, write in my journal, sit and cuss the invisible person out, punch the air, dance hard, or stare silently. I give myself permission to express my feelings however they come. JUDGE FREE.
- The Care
- After all that expression, its time to baby myself with things that make me feel loved. (A nice meal, relaxing bath, singing out of tune, watching cartoons, going to bed early, cuddling with my blanket etc.) Whatever it takes to help me feel loved and cared for.
- The Pump Up
- Major Key to the Bounce Back. I need to be reminded how human I am and how strong I am for facing my feelings. So I use affirmations and positive mirror talk to bring a smile back to my face.
While this is not an exhaustive list of what to do when caring for oneself, it is an example that can be tailored specifically to our time in need. Self-Care can be 10 deep breaths at work when I am feeling low or 8 hours at home alone refreshing and rejuvenating my spirit. I only have one rule: NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED UNTIL I AM FINISHED.
By being selfish with our self-care we prioritize our emotional well-being and allow ourselves time and space to process the events of our lives. Things happen to us all the time and if we don’t find time to feel our feelings, then they may be repressed to the back of our minds leaving us moody, volatile and totally un-fun to be around.
What are you doing to process painful situations in your life? Let’s talk!